Thursday, January 15, 2015

BE STILL

For Christmas I received a class called BE STILL-52.   It is a class about photography and finding calm by Kim Klassen.
YOU can see Kim's work here!   She is so talented-her photos have this ethereal quality, calmness and charm.

  I am sharing my first assignment.  Each week for 52 weeks of the year I will share a photo.  I am trying to find more calm in my world-so I hope to reflect this in my photos.  

Honestly,  I am a bit overwhelmed.  I don't have any professional editing software.  Right now, I am using  PicMonkey.   I  like all of their options and easy access,  but I can see many of the class members have taken her classes before or have the software I want to own-someday. Some members are professionals.   Then I think it doesn't matter-it is a learning process and we all have to start somewhere.  

My word for  2015 is BOLD.   I like to be creative, but I struggle putting myself out there.  It goes back to the bullying days of my youth.  I see these bullies on FB and I can still hear their taunts.  I was bullied in elementary, middle school and my so called friend in high school said rotten things about a group of girls and when she was cornered told them, I did it.   Six mean, bruiting Tomboy- like girls torturing me down the halls of my high school.  I didn't know my so called friend did this, but I found out.  

 No wonder-I am an introvert!  

Long story short-with all the school comments about my art, starting at 4th grade on up.  I feel panicked to share myself, sometimes.  I recently watched a documentary about Vivian Maier's photos.   She kept her creative side hidden-how sad.  It takes a lot of gumption and guts to put yourself out there, be open to ridicule, and insidious comments.  

 Most of the time our art reflects our inner world, our memories, our thoughts, our opinions-it is difficult to express how much we are tangled in our creativity.  'L@@k at me',  is part of the process.  I struggle with this part.  I worry will I come off like I am bragging if I was published.    I can feel my inner child cringe, when I share my art, my news, and sometimes my poems.   It does gets easier- the more we do it.  I know no one is immune, when we hit publish, share a snapshot, share our book-any facet of ourselves is a risk.   I know I need a stronger backbone.   Any thoughts or where I can get one?!


bold
bōld/
adjective
  1. 1.
    (of a person, action, or idea) showing an ability to take risks; confident and courageous.
    "a bold attempt to solve the crisis"
    synonyms:daringintrepidbravecourageousvaliant, valorous, fearless,dauntlessaudaciousdaredevilMore

  2. 2.
    (of a color or design) having a strong or vivid appearance.
    "a coat with bold polka dots"

noun
  1. 1.
    a bold typeface or letter.
    "difficult words and phrases are highlighted in bold"



How do you feel when you share?   Do you feel too 

exposed-sometimes?!



I would love to hear your thoughts on how to handle your 

inner doubt.   Damn,those demons that still follow us 

through childhood and haunt us.  




 “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

                                                          - Anaïs Nin




Monday, January 12, 2015

Sad-

I am behind in life these days.   I saw my daughter come and go. She is back at college, classes resumed today.  She packed most of the items in her room to move into an apartment in April.  I am sad, I won't have another summer with her.  She will be home for spring break and then we help her move hours away.

My beloved four legged hound past away after the New Year.  I took him to the vet last month. We discovered he had Cushing's disease, but they couldn't rule out liver cancer. He lasted a month and I saw he was suffering and I had to do the right thing.  My heart hurts~

 My son actually got a puppy yesterday that resembles our beagle who had one spot on his forehead.  The puppy's name is Wade Wilson.  Yes, based on the comic book character in Deadpool.  This hound has two spots on his forehead in the shape of the number 8.   I haven't seen him, yet, but plan to meet him this weekend.  I did receive some photos.



Rest in Peace my humble hound!  We miss you, Buster~    My son Larry named our beagle after
Bugs Bunny's son Buster from Tiny Toons


Thank you, Buster for all  the love n' joy you gave us~



 Wade Wilson-my son's puppy.