Breaking Up with a Poem

on


Scrolled emotions on wax paper
tasting of
 molded lemon rind
jealously in yellow n' green dots
polka fun at me
gunpowder bitterness lingers
 heart frowns
in my gray garden
 damp rain
blows
deception's wind
into imagination's
barbed
wire fence.


I struggled with this one!
 my poem made me
 Illin


























Comments

Susie Clevenger said…
Love the word play. "imagination's barbed wire fence" Great line!
April 8, 2015 at 9:26 PM
Jim said…
I liked your poem but I did not like your "Illin". Just not my type of music. I too like all the word paintings.
..
April 8, 2015 at 10:05 PM
grapeling said…
'polka fun of me' - fun line, Ella ~
April 8, 2015 at 10:42 PM
Debi Swim said…
From the first line to the last - this was fun and clever
April 9, 2015 at 2:47 AM
Marian said…
Hey stop yer polka fun at me! I rather adore this little treatise, to tell the truth.
April 9, 2015 at 3:18 AM
Alex J. Cavanaugh said…
The polka part was fun, but the gunpowder and rain made me think of a funeral.
April 9, 2015 at 3:25 AM
Ella said…
Alex-I can see that~ It was thundering and I hurried-it shows.
Thank you!

Marian-lol,Thank you~

Debi-Thank you! I waded into the deep end~

Thanks, Grape!

Jim-I use to be a hostess at a restaurant that turned into a club. We were on Adak Island and well you made the best of it~ The DJ was a waiter-he use to call me Illin. It isn't one of my favorite, but I thought it fit my sick poem~ Thank you~

Susie-This one lashed out at me...Thank you~

Thank you, Rosemary!
April 9, 2015 at 5:50 AM
Renee said…
Amazing word play. I could almost smell the moldy lemon rind.
April 9, 2015 at 5:52 AM
Ella said…
Hi Renee, You would prefer the poem below..it has Lemon Meringue in it!
;D Thank you~
April 9, 2015 at 6:03 AM
Susan Gourley/Kelley said…
Yellow and green dots of jealousy was the line that jumped out at me.
April 9, 2015 at 7:41 AM
Sherry Blue Sky said…
I love the hopeful yellow flower at the bottom of the poem on brown paper. And your poem below is so full of amazing images, I leapt from one to another like stones across a river. I loved the polka fun, and admire "heart frowns" at "deception's wind". Sad when imagination has a barbed wire fence placed in front of it. Wonderful write, as always, Ellie!
April 9, 2015 at 8:01 AM
Hannah said…
Sometimes the struggle brings out a bloom and in this case yes! I love the image you shared...inspiration and your "poka-fun!"
April 9, 2015 at 11:19 AM
Maude Lynn said…
"Poka-fun!" That's just awesome!
April 9, 2015 at 11:54 AM
21 Wits said…
It's a marvel to me, and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
April 9, 2015 at 12:59 PM
Ella said…
You are all so kind! I truly think it is the worst thing I have ever written~
April 9, 2015 at 8:27 PM
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