O is for Optical

I wear glasses or contact lens.  I see a huge difference when I take them off.  I can't remember this book, but
it was probably mentioned in a feature in. Parade magazine.    It mentioned how sometimes in life we need to adjust our view, see through the eyes of someone else.  Someone you know may
be acting or reacting poorly, or perhaps a school teacher, isn't her self.   You know something is off...
My daughter was in 4th grade; she came home complaining her teacher was mean. This woman, was not really friendly before, so I knew it must be bad.    She acted like she was teaching middle school.  I did some volunteer work in her class room, so I knew first hand.  She was nice to the parents, but a little rough around the edges with the students.  I wanted to move my daughter out of this class, but I didn't.   I explained to my daughter, sometimes when people are mean, ugly, not so friendly; They need a bit more kindness then others.   I said it is like my glasses, when they are off, I don't see clearly.  I said, her vision is off, something has happened to her, or someone she loves, and she is acting out.   I said, we need to adjust, tilt our vision and give her benefit of the doubt.  She is struggling; I said, "you know students like that, don't you".    She agreed, I said, "when people aren't nice, sometimes just a smile or a kind word, snaps them out of it."   We need to adjust our(virtual) glasses and look at them a bit different and hopefully their vision will change.    A few years later, my daughter needed glasses. this subject came up, about virtual glasses.   She said," they can't see Mom, that their mood affects others."   I said, "no their vision is impaired, like ours, but when you aren't focused your emotional level  is off."   

I know seeing is believing and  we can't walk in anyone shoes, but our own.  We need to not always get defensive when someone is rude in the check out line, etc.   We need to take the high road and cut them some slack and hope as we have adjusted our focus, someone will help adjust theirs, when the view is compromised.


Pixie said…
Thanks for the great reminder. What a lovely story and a great way to teach your daughter to deal with difficult people and situations.
Lisa said…
What a wonderful lesson you taught your daughter. And me, too for that matter, LOL. :)

You also reminded me I need to take my contacts out. I wear Day and Nights and I don't remember the last time I took them out. :)
You are one wise Mom.

Bless you! xoxoxo
I wish I were as wise as you. That is such a beautiful way to teaching a life lesson to your child.

~ Rayna
I agree completely! Someone's bad attitude or mood often has nothing to do with us. It's better to counteract it with kindness than add to the problem.
Bud Ezekiel H. said…
you do very well, Ellie. lots of wisdom...
What a great lesson for all of us. Be patienet and try not to judge, you might not know all the facts of what is going on with that person.
Ellie said…
Thanks everyone; it wasn't really my wisdom, but my willingness to tie in what I read in a book review to teach my daughter compassion.
Thank you, though for your kind words! I just
thought it was a great moment to share. It is
easy to get caught up sometimes in other people's drama.
arlee bird said…
What an interesting perspective and so very wise. Glad to see this through your eyes.
You say your last name is Jackson-- any relatives in West Virginia? Are you related in any way to Stonewall? If so we might be related.
May 3rd A to Z Challenge Reflections Mega Post
Watery Tart said…
Oh, this was really a beautiful way to teach your daughter this important lesson! I've tried with mine--explained the insecurities that sometimes make people act rotten, but your version is more elloquent and general. I will have to remember this.
Ellie said…
Lee, I don't know, I need to find out! It seems like one side always works the tree and this side, not as much. I have a cousin, who I will call and see what she knows. My husband was stationed in WV, a few years ago. Stonewall
is all the place! How fun...

Hart, Thank you; I thought visually it made an impact. She could see what I mean, we had several pairs of glasses in our home. When she looked through and her vision was impaired the message had more impact. Thanks!
This is such a lovely thoughtful and thought provoking post Ellie!

Happy Monday!
Ellie said…
Hi Sally, Thanks for visiting me! Happy Monday, to you! I read a book review and it really struck me, wish I could remember the book title!
Oooh, I love this! It reminds me of my mom, she would always say, "Be nice no matter what." A good reminder, thanks Ellie!
Ellie said…
Thanks everyone for the kind comments~
Mary McDonald said…
That is such a wonderful way to think about people who can't see how their attitudes affect how people respond to them. I'll try to remember that.