Warning this is dark...

Has anyone  said something to you, that took your breath away, cut deep  into your soul and tore your will into shreds.  Words so cruel,  your insides feel revealed, like raw meat and your breath is being sucked out of your lungs.  You can't breath, the bile is choking you. You try to speak, you can not, a shark ripping your flesh  would be less painful.  You wonder now, how you are going to cope.   You stance, the axis of your being is off.  Everything has lost it's color.  It is a tilted universe of what was and what is.  You walk the earth, in a zombie state.  You function, but your life's energy is sucked out...gone.  Gone where?!   Will I find it again, the real me....when all I want to do is stay in bed and escape in my dreams, the colorful, vibrant ones that my soul paints.   Perhaps, if i try to create, to draw, paint, sing, play music, write...  The real me, will be revealed again, she will appear.   Art has saved me; Can it save me again?! 

(me testing my writing wings)

Comments

Really testing your writing wings? Because I hope that's not how you feel right now!
Someone get this woman a hug...
As Alex has said I sincerely hope it's not how you're feeling right now. If it is you'll have to stand behind me in the queue for that hug..lol

Yvonne,
Ellie said…
Thank you Alex; I'm fine, I have had some moments, that took my breath away, good n' bad!
I'm really okay~
Thanks for the concern, guess it is pretty dark. The weird thing is the collage, I made years ago, I zoomed in on it and was stunned at the words that stuck out: churning, grossly, bore of a gun, mental....I didn't see those words before; Odd!
Ellie said…
Yvonne, I'm fine, really!!! Thanks I'll take a hug~
Kolleen said…
yes it will!!

and i LOVE that you are testing your writing wings and putting yourself out there!!!

you are so inspiring Ellie!!!


xoxoxo
happy tuesday sweets
k
arlee bird said…
Well, that's pretty bad I'd say. I've had those cruel words spoken to me that really cut me, but fortunately the effect usually wasn't for too long and I recovered nicely.

One of the worst was when my second wife told me as we were heading towards our divorce that we had nothing more to talk about. For a couple years I was convinced she was wrong, but I eventually came to agree with her. Now we're both in agreement, we're both wrong, but I no longer really care whether we talk or not.

Good writing Ellie.

Lee
Tossing It Out
wiw!! Wow I thought someone hurt my ella's feelings.. and I was gonna bash some heads.. JUst kidding but seriously .. nice work... I love your wings being tested....
paperbird said…
Sometimes you just have to let go and reject the ugliness that someone has hurt you with. Sounds easier than it is but you will be much the better for it. Go ahead and let your art heal you. it always works for me :-)
Hi Ellie!
Oh, I was feeling so sad. You are such a dear and sweet soul, I'm so glad to read that you are fine!
I can very much relate to the pain in your piece. And I can also relate to the going within and finding a rebirth of self.
Sending you hugs for the remembered dark places we all have been in this life. And sending you smiles for the smiles your sweet comments on my blog gave me!
Sally
Lisa said…
You had me going there for a moment. :)

And I like the photo, "Time Heals".

Nice work my friend.
Jennifer said…
Ellie ~ spread those writing wings....they are spectacular and the world needs your words.

I can definilty relate to this post. It happened to me this week. And boy was I furious. And I do not get mad to often. But it sucked the life out of me. Made me examine myself deeply.

Art does save people in all sorts of ways, just like friendship
Julie@beingRUBY said…
Dear Ellie
There will always be those that want to knock you off your axis... sometimes with words.. sometimes the absence of words... Hang in there.... focus on your positive friends, lovely writing and art!!!

Now reading the comments.. maybe this is all past tense.. lovely art.. and still worth ignoring the nay sayers.. ahahaha.. xxx Julie
Watery Tart said…
Ellie-as a piece of WRITING it's fabulous. And I think it's true we need to FEEL stuff like this to write it (just hopefully not too OFTEN, and not RIGHT NOW).

Loved Alex's response: get this woman a hug! --perfect!

*sending hug*
Swimmer said…
That was amazing, and very depressing... i agree with the first comment someone needs to give you a huge!
Ellie said…
Thank you, everyone for the group hug;I'm really fine! I wanted to play with the idea of
it. Okay, I'm done...back to my regularly scheduled program...

Next time I will try to test my wings, I will try something else, mysterious,alluring or perhaps
charming.
Becky Shander said…
Thanks for sharing your authentic side...I think that most of us can relate to what you've expressed. And I think that pouring this pain and frustration into making art or writing is a great way to try and turn things around.