Think Tank Thursday


Poets United prompt this week is WALL, #14.   A wall can divide, enclose and support.   When I think of walls I think of protection and climbing over them.   I love the idea of your home being a haven of your soul enclosed in four walls.  Obstacles in life, can be our walls, we need to work on, climb over, and conquer.


It is hard not to think of the Pink Floyd song
  


Freedom  lost
Obstacles ensue
enclosed in grief
another divide
chained butterfly
on the ground
resist shelter
blocked inside
tears flood the gate
learn to adjust
life forever changed
move on
climb over
test wings,
balance is key
wall remains
climbing over
bittersweet life
support arrives
Rally and fight
for a cure~

My wall is Type 1 diabetes: I developed this juvenile disease, when I was 26.  I had excellent health, than became pregnant.  Life hasn't been the same....   It is my wall, I deal with daily, the testing, the needles, the
finger pokes, the guilty if I eat to much.  If I eat to little, I can have a reaction.  Sometimes my personality changes, usually I'm silly and stupid acting.  The highest blood sugar I had was 1380, the lowest 17~  Yeah,
I am lucky to be alive!  I won't go into my close calls, I stopped counting after the cat and nine lives theory.    I'm not looking for pity, just trying to explain my poem, my wall~   If you know someone who has this wall, remember it is their choice, how they live their life.   We all have our own walls to conquer....

Comments

Carrie Burtt said…
Ellie this is truly an inspiring post from beginning to end! You have endured so much, and are still alive to tell the wonderful story! Thank you for sharing it with us! :-)
That's a daunting wall, but you are obviously stronger!
Robert Lloyd said…
Ellie I really enjoyed this poem. The image of a chained butterfly is very striking. Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are a strong person and an inspiration in your willingness to share. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Ellie said…
Robert-Thank you; I will be by to visit you! There is an ad in Diabetes Forecast magazine with a butterfly chained to the ground...this image always fascinated and haunted me. Any disease can pin us down, clip our wings and imprison our minds, if we let it. I had to use this image~

Alex-Twenty-three years, I have lived with my wall. Thanks Alex!

Carrie-Thank you for your kind words. I had no intention of sharing this, but the prompt lead me there!
Ellie said…
Robert-The image is a butterfly wearing handcuffs!
Lynette Killam said…
Touching poem, Ellie...one I can identify with so well having my own chronic illness! You've done a wonderful job of speaking for more than a few of us here in blogland.

I bet you're as glad as I am that Sherry introduced us to Poets United...:)

Lynwttw
Lynette Killam said…
Oops..excuse the typo on my name..hate when that happens!
What an amazing post, my wall is epilepsy, which I've had for about 25 years, It isn't so bad these days it is well controlled . People at first was very ignorant of the illness but I have always said "Epilepsy lives with ME and not me with IT". I am not ashamed of it and have come through many obstacles in my life.
There are people with worse conditions than me.
I can travel, fly to see my son in Spain, been to the US, I have had a grand time.

Have a good day.
Yvonne.
Deborah said…
Powerful and inspirational x
Ellie,
Thank you for sharing your very personal 'wall'.
Having an ongoing medical condition of any kind inhibits your freedom, at some point, no matter how little. The smallest inconvenience associated with it, can probably feel like a mountain, at times.
Well told in words.
I wish you well,
Eileen
Jules said…
The poem was amazing and then you shared...
I understand well. My Grandfather suffered the same and yes you are lucky. I did not know someone's sugar could get that high or that low. Maybe I should start checking on you more often :)

Thanks for answering my question about photo editing. You once asked me one as well; 14 broken bones what did I do?

Well here is the list: Crushed every bone in my right foot, broke my right arm twice, my nose 3 times, my collar bone, I think all of my fingers and most of my ribs. Luckily not all at the same time. :D
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
I would never wish Diabetes on any person, even I am having to fight it off. I'm a borderline type 2 diabetic, keeping myself in line with exercise and dieting. But I know at anytime it could latch on and I could be officially diagnosed with type 2 diabetes (It's a family trait, type 1 on my father's side and type 2 on my mothers, skipping a generation to me). A wonderful response to the prompt! =)

-Weasel
Abby's Garden said…
I love the way you describe your wall my friend:) Your poetry is inspiring and thought provoking....i will have to ponder about what my "walls" are.
Ellie said…
Hi Weasel-It feels like a curse,sometimes. It is hard to explain yourself. I hate having to say,
"No thank you over and over"! My grandmother on the maternal side, Type 2, if she lost weight, she would of been. I am the only Type 1; guess I stole candy in another life or something?!
Go low carb and walk a lot; Walking really makes a huge difference and weight lifting! I have had a back injury, so my weight is up for me...trying to change this. Better control when you weigh less~ Keep fighting!
I didn't have that choice, only if it had been caught sooner...

Jules-Whoah, I want to hear all the stores that go with this...OUCH!!! The highest I have heard of is 1515! It is a battle, but worth the fight! Thanks for sharing..14, I can't imagine!~ Nose 3x's...did you ski, play football, hockey?! Sorry, to hear your Grandmother also had this wall; Mine, too~

Eileen-Thank you; Yes, it was a climb! People not understanding, dinner parties were not fun!
You try to carry on...like normal, but somehow
it didn't work out. Have more, take some, ....
Ellie said…
Hi Abby-Nice you stopped by! This was hard for me; wasn't going to go there, but we all have issues. Thank you!

Deborah-Thank you~ :-D

Yvonne-You are a strong woman; I am so glad you
went ahead and didn't let your wall keep you from living! You have an amazing spirit!

Lynette-I am sorry to hear you to, have a chronic illness wall! I am so happy Sherry, brought Poets United to our attention! Happy to be part of it and to get to know you!
Sherry Blue Sky said…
Ellie. Wow. The poem is so strong and powerful. I love the list of the progression. You are so positive. I really like "bittersweet life". And then your sharing is wonderful - it is brave to put yourself out there but see the response and sharing in return. It really is quite wonderful, and this is how we really come to know each other. I didnt know when I first began following you that you are a poet - but you are! Yippee! Wonderful poem and my hat is off to you for how bravely and sunnily you keep on keeping on. Way to shine!
LTM said…
ugh. love your poem, but sorry to hear about your struggle. :o| If you want a good story, my great aunt had that--"sugar diabetes" is what she called it--all my life. But she lived to her 90s and even beat lung cancer in spite of it--! So high hopes! :o)

As for walls and poets, I have a brick wall in my backyard that a tree's trying to break through. I always think of Mending Wall when I see it... "Something there is that doesn't love a wall..." :o) take care, <3
Wanda said…
Awesome poem. We all have walls but how we choose to face them can make a big difference. You've definitely got the right attitude.
flaubert said…
Ellie
A very strong poem and thanks for the process notes. I love your optimism!
Pamela
signed...bkm said…
Wow, that is a wall...you hang tough and fight it all the way....blessings.....bkm
Maya said…
that's a very tough wall! Bon courage, Ella...
Diane T said…
I agree, a tough wall to climb. I have saved many people who slipped into an insulin coma, icluding my mother-in-law in a hospital. I know what you speak of. Poignant poem, Ellie.
Hart Johnson said…
Ellie- the chained butterfly image is powerful--too fragile to fight too fiercely, but needing to fight all the same. I think you are brave and wonderful for facing this battle as you have. Thank you for sharing with us.
RiikaInfinityy said…
Awww you got me~~~this time with my butterfly obsession, truly lovely =P I do agreed about the chained butterfly image is very powerful, Wonderfully written my friend :) It is great to face than running away sometimes^^
Jingle said…
beautiful perspective of a wall.
sad but lovely poem!

my wall entry
a butterfly with handcuffs disturbing..
THe wall is a sad.. poem.. but I like it... I feel the same many days... I feel like I am stuggling too... but maybe it's not a struggle just a poem.. and a post... this poem is perfect for my face it... meme... LOL
I have lupus so I have a wall... I could get type one diabetes if I dont' watch the carbs and sugars...any illess chronic or not.. it a huge obstacle... but you nailed this post.. as you have a great knack... for this type of writing.
Ellie said…
Lisa- We just have to creative learn hope to cope! I have 2 autoimmune disease. The butterfly represents my thyroid, which has made diabetes, harder to control. Dr will tell you otherwise, but I was diabetic for 8 yrs, could eat different, better control. We know our bodies better than anyone~ Thank you, Take Care xXx

Jingle-Thank you; I'll come see your wall~

RiikaInfinityy-Butterfly love-which one is your fav? Writing this, made me feel more in control. I didn't plan to put this much of myself out there. Thank you~

Hart-Thanks Hart; It was odd and personal to do. Everyone has something to overcome...their own wall. I thought of the butterfly being delicate, fragile; Life is fragile. The disease is all about balance. Balance your blood sugar, your meds, your food intake. Thanks~

Diane-YOU are an angel~ I'm happy there are people like you! Thank you~

Maya-Thank you; We all need courage at some point in our lives~

Bkm-Thank you; I will try ;-D

flaubert-I loved reading more about you; Great interview~ Thank you!
Ellie said…
Wanda-Thanks Wanda; You are so right, we all have walls to overcome!

LTM-Thank for the encouragement, regarding your
aunt! We never know, the battles we may face or
what the outcome can be. WE just have to try to do our best! Interesting about your wall; I love that tree ;-D

Sherry-Thanks so much; Yeah,I didn't plan on sharing this much of myself, but I couldn't think of any other wall. Oh, yeah, there have been smaller ones, hurdles if you will. This one I can't in reality climb over, just manage.
I haven't written poems for years. I do love words... Thank you~ ;-D
she said…
Ella,
inspiring poem using the wall photo prompt. hope you had a chance to read mine a day or two ago. BTW, I tagged you in a short meme you can find HERE Feel free to do if you like, if not, no worries! Thanks.
Ellie said…
she-Hi, I love your poems; I did post and I will do your meme, soon~ Your answers revealed a lot about you! YOUR poem Mind Shapes Life, is brilliant, the reflections of moments falling like
confetti...I loved it!!! Thank-you, I will play~
lori vliegen said…
your positive attitude and courageous outlook will help you get over you wall....and i know that you've encouraged others to help them get over theirs! stay healthy sweet friend!! xox, :)))
Ellie said…
Lori,
You are sweet; I love your vibrant energy!
Thank-you; xXx
rch said…
Hi Ellie, sorry it took me so long, reality ever intrudes. I'm sorry to hear about your 'wall' but glad and inspired to see you've found a way to surmount it, nice write.