based on Little Red Riding Hood.
Innocent outlines flushed red cheeks
breath crystallizes in air
pine needle carpet crunches
with permafrost
onward I go
birds whisper"feaRED wolf
I scurry along,
twigs snap in deep forest
cold air seeps
into my bones
a trail of breadcrumbs
slowly disappears
birds sing their final evening song
yet mocking bird continues
mimics many tongues
lazy sun descends
ribbons of crimson and blood orange spread out
outlining the view
to Grandmother’s house
I hear the stream, I'm close by
Fear washed away
Moon’s logic is rising
I feel sharp eyes watching me
I dart bird like
must hurry
Streaks of darkness blur
my view
Flinching I turn
Nothing there
Amber moon glows
in midnight's theater
Luna's labor a rim of fire
ignites a
Wolf’s revenge
©
Ellen Wilson
35 comments:
Wow, that's awesome and what a neat challenge.
The imagery is super strong in this one, so many powerful phrases...it really sheds new light on the old fairy tale, and I like new takes on old versions of things a lot.
~Scarlett
Nicely done! Love it!
Wow, I found my heart beating faster and faster as I continued to read. I like this 'red' write.
Very well written on an excellent challenge.
Yvonne.
That was intense!
This became lyrical for me. Could easily be set to song.
Those darn mockingbirds are like arial hyenas. Chasing. Circling. Mocking. Always present regardless if you're right or wrong. Beware!
Very intense imagery that just builds the tension with each line. I could really feel myself tense up as I read. Excellent verse. I think you should try and get it published. :)
That was really lovely Ella.
Hi Ella .. certainly another take on Little Red Riding Hood .. love your thought process here .. and the visions you give us as darkness descends and the amber eyes watch your every move .. cheers Hilary
yep, strong images in those verses!
Same story we all know so well, but you told it wonderfully. I love the phrase 'moon's logic'
You're so talentd. I can't write worth a lick. Come by my visit for a little puddin n pie, plus a giveaway!
http://georgie-hornpuddinnpie.blogspot.com/2011/09/tag-tuesday-and-giveaway_27.html
fantastic little red riding hood retelling.
Thanks for sharing.
Fantastic write, Ellie. Wow. The wolf is still rattling around in my head too. I may give it a go!
you really did an awesome job of building tension and painting the setting as we progressed along. little detial i like so much is the red in the first line. something about it was like a bread crumb trail. i had to follow deeper...
You set the stage so well. Great imagery. There's drama in this one and I love it!
Lovely imagery. I always knew Red was up to something.
wonderful sunset :)
Ooh, this was creepy and sent chills down my spine. Excellent take on "red" and on the story.
gorgeous. That movie wasn't so great, but the imagery was beautiful. I loved it for that at least~ :o) <3
you have a way with words.... I love the challenge.. I am home sick today.. head cold but it feels worse... but I love your header... MY bingo girl and owl... are hanging up at my house too..... Miss you
I always identify with the wolf. Hmmm...
Timoteo-lol, it is the adventure you seek?!
Lisa-I have a head cold, too! Hope you feel better~ Thanks for telling me; I'm glad you like them~
Leigh-I agree the movie disappointed me, too. It had a magical quality in the setting, mood. Thank you~
Lolamouse-really I gave you chills?
Thanks for sharing :D
Tina-I wish it was my photo, but it was part of the prompt, it is stunning!
Susan-Thank you, yes the wide eyed innocence was the hook. lol
Hi Septembermom-I will be by to see what you have been up to! Thank you~
Ed-Thank you! I still would like to work on it, maybe go further onto a another trail. :D
Sherry-I will stop by and see if the Wolf visited you, too~
Thank you Morning! I love your name~
Georgie-You are talented, too ;D
I will be by~
Thank you Other Mary, I thought it sounded magical~
Thank you Dezmond! I love movies, but this one, was so-so~
Hilary-Glad you liked it! It is that time of year ;D
Thank you Wendy!
Melissa-really...Thank you! I just might give a try; thanks so much~
Stephen-Yes, damn those mockingbirds! Isn't there a song about them... ;D I love your take on their persona~
Kim-mmh, I will have to play with that thought! Thank you~
Thank you Alex! :D
Yvonne-Thank you, I will be by to see what has been inspiring you!
Mary-Thank you, the "red" prompt did provide some intriguing thoughts~
Mystic Mom-Thank you, I had fun writing it!
Scarlett-I also love alternate view on those fairy tales. Thank you~
I've never really imagined how Red felt. This poem was great for putting me right into her mind. I enjoyed it.
I like the frantic pace of this, it makes the reader feel like they're being chased.
Just wonderful, Ellie. You actually freaked me out, a little:)
You wrote a scary write! Perfect for both Red and shadows--wish I wasn't going to bed so soon....:-)
This is filled with great imagery that sets the perfect mood (and sets my heart racing)!
I enjoyed visiting this poem of yours again, Ella. I enjoy your version of the timeless tale!
Love the atmosphere you set in this, Ella! All the images of the moon and the fall colors are just perfect. Very spooky.
Wow - I agree with the others - creepy and lovely, at the same time ... you are really hitting your stride lady ... maybe not for the first time (I haven't known you that long!) - just sayin' - you're writing some pretty fine stuff!
Beautiful retelling of an iconic tale; I too read with my heart in my throat - suspense was so well created - nicely done Ella.
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