Poets United prompt #64 is Sunflowers. I also did a post on Imaginary Garden blog, about using
different jargons. I knew I had to bring it! This is my contribution to both sites. I mentioned in comments that I might do a military/flower poem, at the garden site. I wasn't really sure how I would approach this. I started with military terms and then added a few garden ones. I didn't (define) all of the garden terms, since I thought most of them were pretty recognizable. I took some liberty, lol, (another military term) on the use of some of the military words(you will see what I mean). Talk about pushing boundaries and a challenge. I really put a new spin on those lovely, beautiful sunflowers~ I love their cheery look and meant no disrespect to one of my favorite flowers or my husband ;D !
Proud, saluting the sun
We are 4F division
In open order
we form a retaining wall
we form a retaining wall
Stand tall we aren’t a sick parade
against the cold frame
we remain proud
our mission is heliotropic
beware of children, teenagers and women
they can peanut or dead head you,
You can end up POW or Kool-aid
watch for blue features and air assaults
Beware of big boys
They shoot and scoot
and airbourne spores
we remain proud
lift your head solider
Life in hamlet is organic
Parched and scorched
we remain proud
Muddy in the trenches
we remain proud
Our watch isn’t over till we sky
And reach the Starlifter
20 comments:
Wow, you did manage to combine both elements!
I think the end result of your endeavour is quite superb. If you don't mind my saying - I think the explanations in brackets, though enlightening, detract from the scene you have created in the mind's eye. Perhaps a glossary of terms at the end, for the readers to peruse after they have enjoyed the experience of the poem?
great prompt idea E. - keep 'em coming
Nice one... thanks for sharing this...
You've been busy... like a soldier.
This is a lovely tribute to those who serve.
As ex regular army myself, I so appreciate those who serve no matter where they are or the job they do, they are all everyday heros in my mind. It's their sacrifices that allow us the freedom to do this, even.
Lovely.
Daydreamertoo-Thank you and thanks for your service and commitment! I agree invisible and behind the scenes!
So true~
Laurie-Yes, I have been; Thank you!
Heaven-I love your name ;D Thank you~
Ollie-I do wonder what we would have written, if I had chased the school bus ;D
Kerry-Thank you; I did consider that. I took it all, sometimes mystery is best. I especially like how your poem leaves us wondering; the jargon one ;D
Alex-Thank you; it is an odd combo, but here I think it works~
Wondrous...
We are all that, aren't we?
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/09/01/seek-the-son/
This is a totally new view of sunflowers - as brave soldiers, under siege. Very original, Ellie, and wonderful to read!
Oh how I love your poem and that very cool twin shot! You are really such a beautiful talent - I'm sure your DH is very proud of it!!
AND thank you for your sweet comment - you were the first to tell me you had it (I was out of town when I saw your last comment on my phone) and I couldn't wait to get home to see if I had a copy too! Thanks for all of your support! xoxo
Wonderful poem with a twist and putting a reality to the sunflowers and soldiers. I have never seen a twin sunflower before. Safe Labor Holiday weekend...
I very much enjoyed the combination of military imagery and flowers!
This is a proud poem from either view. I prefer the military because I just don't understand flowers.
heliotropic
Does it for me! LOL
I've always loved sunflowers and yellow colour! The colour of energy and life
too cool! It's funny b/c I can see how sunflowers and soldiers need to beware children, teenagers, and women. But while one makes me smile, the other makes me sad... :o\
great work--and a gorgeous picture! <3
Leigh-Thank you; I know right, but I wanted to do an opposite jargon type poem~ xXx
Dezmond-Yes, I agree, they really do brighten one's day, garden and/or view :D
Jinksy-lol, you are cute~
Mike-I hear you; I don't think I over did the garden terms~ :D
WyomingDiva-Love your name, Thank you~ I enjoyed yours as well~
Createology-Thank you; I kept staring at it wondering if I was seeing right, huh... Be safe this weekend, too~
Kristin-I had preordered this issue~
How fun for you; it is stunning~Congrats!
Thank you so much @>----- Hubby is out of town, he only knows I attempted this. He doesnt' read all of my stuff, but he might like this one :D
Sherry-Yes, original, for sure, lol ;D Thank you~
Kim-Yes, I suppose we are :D Thank you~
I like your mix of the military the the botanical here. You really did stretch this prompt. And thank you too for visiting my blog.
Ella this is simply put AWESOME!! :-)
Thank you Peggy! It was a stretch, but I knew I had to try~
Carrie-It was a battle of trying to find common ground; Thank you so much~
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