Listed in the Garden




 Over in the Garden, Fireblossom asked us to write a poem using a list of words she shared.  I mean her friend Ms. X shared...   ;D


 




Dangerous girl with your gray green eyes
you haunt me
your looks beguile and enchant
your addiction frays
touching all you encompass
spewing bitter bile
leaving shards of milky glass fragments in 
my morning brew
blink and your razor sharp bites 
breath mold
chunks of endless deceit
coat one's silver hoped spoon
every dish lacquered n' tarnished
by your tongue

© Ella Wilson

Comments

Mama Zen said…
I love those closing lines!
Kerry O'Connor said…
This is such an intriguing conversation. Your reader must guess who this girl is, a person or personification, and yet you allow us to feel her character through your description. Very good.
Heaven said…
chunks of endless deceit - and I too like your closing lines ~
Green Speck said…
Wow ... the last line is amazing !!!
Stephen Tremp said…
SOunds like a psycho cat we had when I was a kid.
hedgewitch said…
A great insider/outsider point of view in this one Ella. Whether you mean 'breath' or 'breathe' each image has its own power, and evokes something undead, to me, even though it seems to be alive. As others have said, the last line really clinches the deal, but the buildup is flawless as well.
Laurie Kolp said…
Ouch! Very effective, Ella (I wouldn't want to know her).
Mary said…
Well done, Ella. You made this person come alive with your words; and I wouldn't want to know her either. LOL.
Ink in the Book said…
Wow. That's all I can say. For now. Wow.
Ella said…
Hi Inky! Thank you ;D

Mary-Yeah, I don't like her either, when she is under the influence of alcohol. This person does exist and is a good person, till she drinks-no, it isn't me. Thank you :D

Laurie-Yeah,ouch-her words are like porcupine quills! Thank you~

Hedgewitch-Yes, it could go either way-thank you! She is alive. The person I knew died, when the disease took hold. The disease left a vile creature. Thank you~

Stephen-OMG I laughed out loud...I wish it was a psycho cat. ;D

Green Speck-Thank you ;D

Heaven-Thank you! Yes, the scars can tarnish one's soul.

Kerry-Thank you! Oh, she exists alright. I am just fortunate not to be subject, to the daily abuse. She doesn't even know how bad, she can be. Alcoholism changes those we love...

Alex-Yes, lol! Beware of green chunks and tarnished memories resurfacing in your soup~ ;D

Mama Zen-Thank you! I think we all know someone who could fit this profile, but I truly hope not...
DEZMOND said…
the poem scared me a bit... I'm easily scared...
Helen said…
Your girl is definitely of the dangerous variety ~~ loved it!
Sherry Blue Sky said…
You have captured how addiction affects people around the addict. I especially love "coat one's silver hoped spoon". Wonderful write, Ellie!
Hannah said…
I'm echoing MZ I realize but your last four or five closing lines really bring it all together so well, Ella! I love what you've created here...a sharp and piercing piece! <3 tt/ss 11:11 :)
Kay L. Davies said…
These lines seem so real to me
"leaving shards of milky glass fragments in
my morning brew"
...an excellent write, Ella.
K
Susie Clevenger said…
Love this! I think I know her. I especially like chunks of endless deceit and the ending. Great write Ella!!
i must join the chorus, Ella ~ a fabulous poem and those last lines are killer!!!

i hope the new year is being kind to you and your family!

Herotomost said…
Ohhhh Dangerous girl...how I love thee...lol. It always sounds so sinister and wonton, but ends up being a disaster. But there are two stories to every alpha girl....loved this.
Renee said…
Ah the chunks of endless deceit....male or female we've all encountered a few people that fit this description. Beautifully written. Really haunting. Hope you and yours are well.
Ella said…
Hi Renee-Yes, I think we all have seen that dance~ Thank you-I hope you are doing well, too! Happy New Year!

Herotomost-Yes, that girl, lol.
Thank you so much~ I love your Happy New Year news~ atb :D

Dani-Thank you! Killer in the tea, lol Thank you Happy New Year to you n' yours :D

Susie-Oh, yes, I think a lot of us know her-yikes! Chunks worked in this one, lol Thank you :D

Kay-I got some of that milk glass for Christmas! Thank you Kay! :D
Hope you are doing well...

Hannah-I love what you said...yes,sharp and piercing, lol
Thank you so much! 1111 ss/tt @>-----


Sherry-I want a silver hoped spoon!
My hubby wants my fudge spoon to move out...tee,hee I only made it twice and gave a whole batch away?!
Thank you!!! :D

Helen-Yes, she is...Thank you :D


Dezzy-I didn't mean to scare you! (((hugs)))


"One's silver hoped spoon." That is my favorite phrase. You tackled the list with gusto and the windup is BRILL. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2013/01/04/twofer/
Ella said…
Thank you Amy! ;D
Happy New Year to you and yours~
Tamara said…
Do you know my old critique partner??? hehe...cause this poem sounds JUST like her. I'm half tempted to send it over, but I shall hold myself back.

Awesome imagery here!! Great job, as usual!
Judy Roney said…
Great job you did with this list. I love the way you put words together, "leaving shards of milky glass fragments in every dish lacquered n' tarnished
by your tongue

my morning brew" and " WOW~