I thought of all of you on Sunday, when I was trapped in my vehicle for a few hours, due to a four car pile up on a bridge.  I had this nagging feeling right before it happened to get off the highway.  Get off the highway, now!  

Why would I do that?  My family is up ahead in our daughter's new Chevy Malibu.  We had driven up to a Navy guy's house, about an hour away to purchase a second hand, decent vehicle for our teenage daughter.  Now, get off this exit-do it!  

What the hell, I don't have time to tell them.  How do I explain-I decided not to follow you, Don,  because my voice told me to just take exit 11, to Portsmouth.   I didn't get off, but then I got scared.  When I was in college,  I didn't  listen to my intuition and was in a car accident.  The voice came too fast.   I didn't have time to cross three lines of traffic and exit right.  So, I sat in a ten mile traffic jam.  Both sides of the road backed up for miles.  Four cars on a bridge need to be towed. Hubby used his iPhone to get online to see the bridge camera.  He txted me:

Hubby txt:           4 car accident both sides of road blocked.
My txt:                 whoa, hope no one died or is serious
Daughter txt:        hope no one died    glad I didn't drive
My txt:                 glad u didn't-

I call hubby:       "I see people are getting out to smoke, now that it isn't raining.  How does Miss A like her car?"   I thought it was sleeting earlier. Did you see it?

                          "She likes it, but I don't like the brakes. . I am glad she didn't drive. I offered.  There are a few other things I will tweak.  I might fix it up and trade it.  Yes, it was sleeting. Crazy weather."

                           "I told her she shouldn't, no place to drive a vehicle that she hasn't handled.  Glad she listened to me."

                             "Yes, the brakes are not anti-lock. I don't think it is the car, for her."

                             "You didn't know about the brakes?"

                              "No, I didn't."

                              "You know I had a feeling to get off exit 11, but I didn't have time to tell you."

                              "Yes, witchie poo"

                              "You know better-I'm serious.  Remember the Common Ground Fair, when I got that killer headache and I told mom we couldn't go.  I felt so bad being her birthday and all."

                              "Yes, I remember....the fatal car crash, at the same time you would of been going out there.   I know and the time you told me not to fly, and the time the mail lady came back to our house and you almost chased her on your bike.  Because you knew she had your package."

                              " Well, she did, didn't she!  I didn't have a headache then.  Maybe only when it is bad."

                              "No witch,  it is sinus, not psychic."
                               "My song is on-bye!"

Hubby txt:              car 3 towed, l left 
My txt:                    good      Headache back
Hubby txt:              Tylenol n console    any bad feelings
Me txt:                    took 3    NO!

How am I going to sit still?   I feel anxious and jumpy.  I have my iPad-I start reading and realized it is the Skinny Cap from Starbucks,  has kicked in.  

Daughter txts me:    what's up 

Txt back:                  I'm popping tags

Daughter txt:            lol  car is pretty cool, i like

Txt back:                   yes it is    LU xo

 I start rocking out.  My rocking out means drumming. I'm always drumming n' singing...okay wailing a tune.  The car is steamed up and then it dawns on me.  Am I being watched?  Cars are on one side.  We had narrowed down to two lanes, but what does a middle aged woman, with long black hair look like bouncing in her seat and drumming the dash?  An ADD crackhead?  A woman who drank too much caffeine, to kill another sinus headache?!   What would my followers think if they saw such a site?  Would they think this is a story?  Why doesn't that woman act her age?  Would they laugh, would they be rocking or would they sit in quiet stillness and write or text notes.    I thought of you and started writing.   I wish I was home on my couch.  Damn my head hurts.  I hope no one died or is seriously hurt.  I am happy my daughter didn't drive.  I wish I had listened to my inner voice! 

I didn't listen to my voice in college. I went to the mall and got hit by a sports car. It was winter in New England and I had cabin fever.  Black ice and reckless speeding were the cause, no not me. Some idiot who had borrowed his friend's car and totaled it.  He screamed and screamed at me.  I saw lights out of the corner of my eye, but it was too late.  He was going too fast! 

 My voice told me to go down the artistic avenue and now I wonder.  Should I have taken a different path?  I listened to my voice, but  I am not sure which road to take.   Art whispers to me, but I fear I'm not good enough, writing feels like a puzzle,  but my gut says keep going-no matter what.

Do you listen to your voice, or do you grab the wheel, and steer in another direction?      When I get these headaches-my intuition pings me like AOL 's  "you've got mail".   Does your voice ping you?   Maybe my voice is telling me-this is the book I should write?!  

      "Gotta go, I got another Ping."


I hear it but half the time I fail to listen. My wife is better about that.
Glad none of you were in the accident!

I hear those voices too. The creepiest was the last night on my honeymoon, when my new husband and I were staying in a motel, to catch an early ferry the next morning.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sit still. I had this horrible sense of urgency that there was something I had to do, but I had no idea what it was. I'm sure my husband thought he married a nutcase.

Finally something flipped a switch and I slept. When we got home to my parents' house the next day, my great aunt was waiting for us, to tell us that my parents had gone to Canada because Mom's sister's husband had committed suicide the previous night.

Since I'd been married only a few days, I wondered if he was thinking of me in his final hours, and that's why I couldn't sleep....It wasn't and isn't a comforting thought. I'll never know, but I'll always wonder.
Sherry Blue Sky said…
WOW, Ellie - your stories and Canadian Chickadee's story - powerful! My inner voice used to SCREAM at me, but it took me way too long to learn I needed to listen. And yes, dont you dare say you arent "good enough" - you BLOW US AWAY with your art and your poetry. Your gut is telling you the truth. You are an artist and an artist cannot do without her art.
Kay L. Davies said…
My mother used to "know" things, too, and she would listen to the voice, but Dad didn't always believe her. Once, it was "Stop the car, I have to phone home, there's something the matter with Kay" and she was right.
Not everybody has it, Ella, but if you've got it, it might be a good idea to listen to it.
PS — My husband and I each have a red Chevy Malibu.
I'm glad you and your family is ok.
Gail said…
My sister calls that her "God voice". My mother called it the "gift".

I'm sure we all have it to a certain degree but do not trust ourselves enough to listen.

I would say listen!

Glad all was okay for you and your family.
Shelly said…
Always listen to your voice. I got one, too. Its always right.

Hugs and chocolate,
Janet Martin said…
I am glad you all were okay...even the lady with the long black hair rocking it out!:) I was astonished that you would doubt your talent! God has gifted you with writing being but one of those gofts!Thank-you for sharing with the rest of us.
Janet Martin said…
what are gofts??? I meant to say gifts; lesson, proof-read BEFORE clicking publish.
Mary said…
Listen to your heart! Your heart tells you truth. YOU are an artist.
Ella said…
Hi Mary-Thank you~ :D @>-------

Janet-lol I know it happens~ :D
I have read my stuff and still seen it happen! ;D

Janet-I think we all go back n' forth on the coaster of doubt. I mean one mean praise and then the descend. It is part of the creative process-Thank you for being YOU! ;D
YOU are always sweet to me~
Ella said…
Shelly-Thank you and yes, it is a good idea to listen, unless the voice wants too much chocolate, lol ;D Thanks for sharing with me~ (((hugs)))

Gail-Thank you for telling me! I do think we all have it-most do not listen! Yes I'm listening :D

Marcoantonio Arellano-Thank you :D
I hope you are doing well~

Kay-The car is the color of Cherry Pie filling!!! Wow...it is more a rust red than a bright red. Is that like yours? Wow...
Thank you Kay! I do think it is wise to listen~ My husband use to tease me, until a few incidents convinced him otherwise. Now, he asks me if I have any feelings! Thanks for sharing...cool about the car!!!

Sherry-Thank you! My voice told me to hang in there~ Thank you for sharing with me. I do think you are wise and listening!! I loved the poem your son wrote-it is like a song :D

Canadian Chickadee-Thank you for your kind words and sharing! I think some of us are more in tune because we do listen~ I believe you felt your aunt's pain, when she discovered the tragedy. I am so sorry~ I had a similar experience when my husband's cousin died. Hubby thought it was because of my migraine. Something strange about my headaches. Thank you so much for sharing with me! Yes, we must keep listening :D

Alex-Thank you! Yes, listen to your wife ;D She probably knows when you are speeding... Ninjas do drive fast-be careful!

That's: ...you and your family 'are' ok. Sorry for the misapplication of 'is'. This came about because I was thinking of you, singularly, Ella then included ...and your family.

Hate it when I do that. It's my latino 'spanglish' insidiously manifesting. :-{)
Ella said…
You know the kids talk that way...
slang: You is fine ;D

No worries! What a beautiful language~
Wanda said…
That inner voice is a gift one has but we don't always heed it's warnings. Glad you and your family were ok.
Ella said…
Hi Wanda-Thank you! It is very scary down here when it rains. The roads are slick and people panic~ I have never seen anything quite like it. Me, being from snow country and all~

Liz Wiz said…
I thought it was weird that I had serious intuition in high school to where I put off learning how to drive 'coz I *knew* I'd be in a serious car accident...and after I got my license, I was! Supposedly, it almost killed me (but people will say things just to be dramatic). I also have cop-dar (cop radar). It is the weirdest thing.